REEEEEALLLY High Hopes!

I just returned from my acupuncture appointment.

 I cried during my entire session and the entire ride home. Why you ask?

I had to release tears of hope, joy, and faith....

As soon as I arrived, Dr. Hong felt my pulse- a routine for us.  This time she made an odd face. She then asked, "Did you have your IUI already?"

The question made my stomach feel like I had just free fallen down the largest roller coaster of my life. She barely finished her sentence before I quickly and excitedly crackled out, "NO! WHY!? AM I PREGNANT?"

(If you remember from previous posts, I mentioned that Dr. Hong claims she can tell me if I'm pregnant or not. I am still on the fence with this notion.)

Dr. Hong smiled a very large smile and said, "I cannot say for sure just yet, but something feels very different. You are many times stronger than you were last week. You're ready to be pregnant."

Over fourteen months of worry, doubt, fear, depression, anxiety, hurt, resentment, jealousy, and so many more of those negative and sad emotions  no longer mattered. My voice literally cracked and I managed to get, "Is there really a chance I'm pregnant?" out through my tears.

She then said, "Well...I will say that if you're not pregnant this month, your body is ready and you will be very soon."

I began to sob. She then felt my other arm and begin checking pulses throughout. She smiled again and said, "I'm looking for a strong, fast, and slippery pulse." You have a strong, you have a fast, and it's a bit slippery. It's not slippery enough to be sure to say yes, but I have much hope for you for THIS month."

I cried and thanked her over and over. I then said, "I know you wouldn't give my hopes up. I know you wouldn't."

She replied, "No...I wouldn't. I wouldn't say a word if I didn't feel something. Again, I don't know if it will be this month, but I think your IUI will go well if you have to go through it- and that's if you must."

I told her I was only 7-8 days post ovulation. Could she really know if I were pregnant if the baby hadn't attached yet?

She explained that even at conception, the body knows that changes must be made to prepare for a baby. She said that my blood flow will change, my energy, my entire body. It is preparing for life. She said that we may be approaching implantation. She's right....7-12 days post ovulation is when a blastocyst can implant.

She told me to have high hopes either way because my body was healing and she thinks that I WILL be able to have children.

Many people on the Fertility Friend website did not support this. I understand that. It's hard for people to wrap their head around, but I do not like that it is looked as if this were voodoo, magic, etc. I know there's a great chance that I'm not. I know that maybe we could have conceived and the baby won't attach, or won't survive. I'm aware of all of this. I feel that tonight is a night to celebrate that she has noticed a change for the better. Tonight is a night to celebrate that she believes I can and will become a mother. I shared this with Nick and he feels just as hopeful and optimistic as I do. We know that if this doesn't end up working out, we have a plan. We have IUI coming up.

We're asking for the power of prayer, good thoughts, etc to get us through this. We're so hopeful but also understanding that this is not certain. In fact, it's very unknown.

All I know is that for the first time since I felt in my heart that something was very wrong, I feel something is very right. I have prayed to God all evening that we have our miracle baby growing inside of me. Please God, let this be it!

PS- Here's my chart...with the dip I was hoping for. Implantation?