"The Plan"

I had a terrible start to the morning! I organized my binder for our meeting, had my clothes out, etc. I was even leaving thirty minutes before I really needed to leave today. What do I do? Nothing constructive other than leaving my keys in the house and locking myself out! I couldn't get into the house and I couldn't get into the truck. I tried to stay calm but time went by. I called my landlord, called the realtor that's selling our place, called Nick, texted friends, etc...and nothing. I then dropped my stuff, leaned up against the truck, and cried. What else is new with me, right? :0)

I was finally able to reach Nick at work. Before I tell you what he did, I am fully aware of how lucky I am. He's an amazing, amazing man. Nick stopped what he was doing, took some vacation hours, and left his job in Rock Island to drive 30min home to let me in the house. I had to be at my appointment by 7:30. It's a thirty mile drive to Davenport, IA. Nick made it to Geneseo at 7:15. This left me with fifteen minutes to make it to my appointment. I know my safety is a concern...but I did indeed speed. :0( With many fertility clinics, they're packed! If you're late, you often lose your appointment. I have waited fifteen months for this appointment! I was able to contact the nurse and they said to slow down and drive safely. It's funny that I listened to them and not my husband. I ended up getting into the clinic at 7:41! The nursing staff immediately greeted me and said, "Dr. Figge is eating his Chick-fil-a breakfast in his office, so relax!" :0) I found a lot of humor in this. You know how students freak out when they see their teacher in public places? Yeah...I was astonished that he would be eating a fast food breakfast sandwich in his elegant office. I also found humor in my panic to get to him on time, discovering I gave him some extra time to eat and enjoy his bites.

My vitals were good. The blood pressure was a bit high, as expected. I kept telling myself, "Cool it Lyndsey, you want to make a good impression. You're ready to go through complex fertility procedures. Don't look unstable!" HA! I really had to coach myself like this!

I was then directed to his office. As I walked down the hallway, I looked at the bulletin board of babies that I noticed once before, only this time, I took time to actually look into the pictures. Smiling faces, beautiful babies, pure joy, happiness, and love. Each picture entailed a story. A story of darkness, despair, hope, roller coaster emotions, jealousy, loss, patience, and more. Each picture included a someone holding their biggest want and need in life- they're precious child. I couldn't help but tear up. I envisioned our little family up there. Nick with his humongous smile...that one dimple. Me with my eyes so wide, so full of love of my family, our family. I even pictured our baby in our arms. I would give anything for that feeling. I would give up everything to feel what it's like to be not only Nick's wife, but the mother of his children. Life would be complete. I then smiled and swallowed the lump in my throat. We'll be up there, Lyndsey. Our baby will be up there.

I was asked to have a seat. I waited less than ten minutes, though it felt like an eternity. I have been ready for this new hope. I am ready to see you again Dr. Figge. Fix me!

His warm smile entered the room. He immediately said, "Let's get to work! You have done three rounds of Clomid. You ovulated on the first, the second, and we're not 100% on the third round. I think we can wait on injections for now. If you remember, I told you the odds of Clomid working drops after three rounds. I think Clomid may still help you, but I do not feel Clomid alone will get you pregnant. I think your body will respond to the treatment at a higher level and to increase the odds a bit, we're going to pair the Clomid up with intrauterine insemination. We'll be assisting you with reproduction. How does that sound?"

I smiled and said, "It sounds wonderful."

He then asked, "Have you and your husband discussed IUI? Are you prepared to go through this?"

I replied, "We have and we're absolutely ready. We've been looking forward to this meeting and we're willing to do whatever we need to do to conceive."

He then said, "Alright! We're going to make a plan of trying IUI three times before discussion of other procedures or IVF."

He then pulled the paper work out and said his nurse would be in to talk to me about the procedure. He said he hoped that I was pregnant now, but if not, we have a new plan. I like the sound of that!

Before he left, I thank him and told him that he gave me hope. He smiled and told me that he couldn't guarantee that he'd get us pregnant, but he saw no reason to give up any hope right now.

So....here's Lyndsey life in the upcoming weeks:

I should start my period by Tuesday, the 18th. As soon as I start, I have to call their office. They will then have me come in on day 4ish of my cycle to have a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) done. It's an x-ray of the inside of my fallopian tubes and uterus. It will show if there is any other reason why we're not getting pregnant, besides the PCOS. If I have any blocks, fibroids, scar tissue called septum in there, the x-ray will show it. If I have any of those issues, we'll cross that bridge. Surgery can correct most of that. If my uterus shape is funny or tilted, I don't think they can fix it. Please pray for us that this comes out clear! We really don't know if we can handle any more problems with my body added on to the plate. The procedure requires a local anesthetic. A thin catheter will be inserted into the cervix and the dye will pass through so they can see my uterus and tubes. They said it can be very painful, especially if there's a block. Nick will be taking off of work for this because he wants to be in the room with me.  The only risk involved is infection, allergic reaction to the dye, uterine perforation, pain, and excessive bleeding. You can now understand why I am scared to death!

Also the day my period starts, I will call in my order for the dreaded Clomid. I'll be taking double the dose this time. 100mg....oh boy. The stuff makes me CRAZY! One minute I'm happy, the next minute I'm crying, irritable, needy, etc. I even get angry over the silliest things. Nick and I really noticed how much Clomid changed me. This unmedicated cycle was relaxing ha!  I will take two 50mg pills a day on days 3-7 of my cycle. I will then use an ovulation kit from cycle day 11 through whatever day I get a positive. As soon as Nick and I get a + on the OPK, we have to call them. We'll then go into the office either that day or the next morning to perform the IUI. They'll take Nick's sample, wash it, and then of course run it through the tube, into my uterus. This gives his boys a closer starting point. I have to rest for a bit and then return to life. We then wait and see what happens! :0)

After reading the paper work, I came to the clause that stated, "The success rates will vary with the couple's original diagnosis, the woman's age, and the number of cycles of IUI. The pregnancy rate per cycle of insemination is 8-10%. The pregnancy rate may be as high as 30% in couples undergoing three to six cycles of IUI. The use of fertility medication increasees the chance of pregnancy."

I left his office feeling a surge of hope. I now sit here thinking about all of this, everything we have been through, every emotion, every penny we've spent, and realize that none of it matters right now. I don't even know if I'm scared to go to IVF anymore. I think I have just taken on a lot of determination with this obstacle in our life. Nick is my wing man. I'd be lost without him. We are so determined and we're not going to give up.

If for some reason our journey to conceiving must end, I know that we can smile at one another and agree that we'll still be parents in some way. We'll still share our love with our child in some way.

Thank you for following us and thank you for giving us hope. Thank you for the prayers. Thank you for listening and encouraging. I hope to share even more wonderful news soon!

Three sample cups, three pieces of paper work, and three months of fresh hope!

Official documents to start IUI!