Ordinary People, Ordinary Life...Extraordinary Love: HSG Results!

Today was an emotional day. Nick and I got up at 6AM and started getting ready. I took my 800mg of Ibuprofen around 7:30 and we were on our way.

We got to the clinic around 8:00AM. I could feel the anxiety in my chest. I began crying as I was signing paperwork because I was scared of what pain I may experience, but mostly because I feared the results. They told us if we had any blockages, we'd cancel the IUI and go straight to IVF. I feared finding out that something else was wrong with me. PCOS is bad enough...we have tried for a family for almost seventeen months and have no children to show.

Nick tried to stay strong for me. I could see him fighting his tears because he hates seeing me scared.

I had to get into "patient scrubs" and prep. They came in, talked to me about the procedure, etc.

They really treat this as a big deal. I didn't think it was this big of an event.

Dr. Figge came in and talked to us about the procedure as well. He explained that the first half would be like any annual exam. They'd use instruments to do their thing and then add a little extra. That extra was a local anesthetic on my cervix and the tube inserted for the dye. Dr. Figge said that they were hoping to see my uterus fill in black, go up to both tubes, and spill out quickly. He said there would be some cramping and bleeding.

I kissed Nick "see ya later" and they wheeled me down to a surgery room. I had to hop up on a slender table. It was ice cold in the room. At this point I decided it had to be mind over matter. People give birth to 9lb babies for goodness sake- I could get through this. I basically told myself if there was a blockage and excruciating pain, the physical pain would end and the emotional pain would be coped with. My heart has experienced much hurt on this journey and we still somehow come out strong in the end.

He put the surgery lights over me, as well as the x-ray machine. He told me to turn my head and watch the screen. He first started with the "pap smear" tools. A tube was then inserted. I could see it all in real time. He then told me to relax and prepare to feel a lot of pressure and he'd walk me through it.

He counted to three and then said, here's the dye. I literally watched my uterus fill up in a perfect, black, triangular pool. He smiled and said, "nice shape uterus, showing no problems." I started feeling huge cramps and began to fight back tears and moans. I had to focus and keep my eye on the screen.

He then said, "Alright, left tube spillage, GREAT! Come on right tube, alright! Good girl, great spillage on both sides!"

I immediately sobbed. My body hasn't failed me 100%. I am every bit of woman inside. PCOS takes something away from you and how you feel about yourself. It brought some of that back to me, knowing that the home for my future baby's growth is safe for him/her. I CAN provide that.

I'm ok. He told me other than PCOS, the HSG confirmed that there were no other issues with me when it came to my physical makeup. I asked if there could be anything hidden. He said that the HSG will show 85% of what they need to see! This is good. He told me not to worry because I have never had diseases, infections, etc.

He told me again that he can't guarantee a baby, but he feels there's no reason to question hope. He then said, "We're just here to get you there faster!"

We then talked about the upcoming IUI. I asked if the dye could do any damage to my current follicles that are growing. He said, "Absolutely not. If anything, the HSG was therapeutic for the follicles because you just gave your fallopian tubes a nice, clean sweep. This helped your odds."

I began sobbing. I can feel our baby close. I just know that our wish will soon come true. I feel that our son or daughter is within an arm's reach.

We then talked about Thursday's ultrasound. I will go in Thursday morning to get a look at my developing follicles. If they are 18mm or bigger, they will give me a trigger shot. I believe this is in the stomach. If I'm given the trigger shot, we'll go in on Friday for the artificial insemination (IUI). If the follicles aren't up to size yet, we'll be sent home and asked to keep taking our ovulation predictor kit (OPK) until we get a +. Once we have the + on the kit, we have to call to report and then go in the following day for the IUI. We are literally a week within potentially starting the journey of parenthood.

Thank you so, so much for the prayers. God is good and so are you. We love and appreciate all of you so, so much! We feel so much love and support.

I'm supposed to be taking it easy due to some of the side effects of the procedure. I will leave you with a picture story of our day and pictures of yes, my beautiful uterus and tubes (they know that I am going to one day share this story with our son or daughter and felt pictures would be great in their baby book).