Tonight's Game Plan

I have to coach until 8:00 tonight. I am coming home, getting in my pajamas, and going to watch Sons of Anarchy by myself. It's our (Nick and my) favorite show. I'm so mad that he won't be here for it. I cried the entire way to work today because I have seen my husband for about 4 minutes from Monday morning through this morning. It makes the fertility blues even harder.

Tonight is a night that I will just try to find peace, cry, and reconnect with myself. Nick is angry that I have thrown in the towel for this cycle. He told me there's no reason to be sad yet because I haven't started and my temps are still high. I just found out he logged into my Fertility Friend account today. He looked at my chart and somehow managed to compare it to the last pregnancy. He also read somewhere that the average pregnancy test doesn't show a positive until 13.6 days past ovulation. I'm on 12 days past ovulation. It made me think, "What did I do to deserve such a great man?" Nick has gone mad. He is trying to find any bit of hope to give me for this month. We put so much of it into this first IUI. The website that he feels I obsess over was his hobby today ha!

I am not testing tonight. Maybe I'll do one tomorrow morning because I have one left from my box. I am saving the box that my friend bought me (Thanks, C!) for next cycle.

I'll be fine. I always am. Nick is my constant in life...I came home to this. (He knows I'm struggling between the IUI cycle and him moving to second shift.)

In some aspects of life, I feel cursed, but in one area in particular...I feel so blessed and like a million bucks!