"What is the Trending Phrase- Sorry, I'm not sorry?"

I was cooking dinner tonight and my little ornery toddler found great entertainment in walking between my legs, going around and around. It made cooking spaghetti harder but I couldn't help but smile tonight. He makes everything in life harder...but he also makes everything in life easier, brighter, and better.

I then thought about a comment someone made to me. "He said all you do is talk about Gavin this and Gavin that..." This was relating to how annoying I am on Facebook regarding my son. Someone said this to another person, about me. I post hundreds of pictures, videos, and things that happen throughout the week. I document the little moments about my child.

For a split second, I almost felt bad for annoying someone with my habitual posting.

And then I thought...no way! What is it that people say now? "Sorry, I'm not sorry?"

When you have a child, you're crazy in love with your child. Well, I should say most people are. You have those very sad circumstances in which a parent(s) cannot parent. I love my kid! And I don't hide the ugly parts of being a mother on Facebook, either. There are days that I cry in a hot shower because I have had to keep it together while my son has had meltdowns, made the day challenging, required all my patience, kept me up at night, adds tension between my husband and I when he's sick, etc. There are days that I stick my child in front of a t.v. for a good majority of the day, and some of those days happen a couple of times a week.

I will say that everyone has their story. And Gavin is mine. Gavin is our story. He is the constant reminder that we are so fortunate to experience all of the days we have together. Nothing in life is guaranteed. Nothing. We aren't promised to wake up every morning. To anyone annoyed by the infatuation (that you must not understand) that we have towards our child(ren), think of it this way...

People want to go out and right the wrongs, love deeper, sky dive, forgive, and/or apologize when they're told they have an x amount of days to live...why? They realize that life is short, and their life may be cut even shorter. They no longer take things for granted. Something opened their eyes to see the big picture, or to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. That is their story.

Think of people who have chronic back pain, migraines, or an illness. They want to be able to enjoy some simple pleasures in life like a roller coaster, ride a bike, enjoy a picnic with a family, etc. They probably sigh when they hear others complain about having to do something, because they wish for that physical ability, too. Perspective.

Your perception on life depends on your story. Gavin is my story.

At one point in life, we were told we may not be able to have children. We were told we can't be promised this role in life. At one point in life, we thought we may have to stop fertility treatments because we may not be able to afford IVF if needed. When that was a dream of ours...the news was a nightmare. It suddenly changes things. You want it even more and you realize how dark your world may turn.

I prayed to God for two years and through a miscarriage that I would do my absolute best to not take a child for granted if God chose us to become parents.

I know I'm human, and I know that some days I will show my appreciation more than others. I try to live my life in such gratitude for the gift that we have been given. When Gavin came into our life, and every day since, it has only reinforced how life would be without him- a life with a huge void. We would have been robbed of this amazing love.

I still think of women in my infertility group, and their stories. Some of them don't have the ending that I have. Some of them have had to accept that they will not be parents at all. Some are still trying and experiencing the same heartache over and over again.

I don't apologize for being so thankful and so in love with my child. I don't claim to be a perfect mom, who has it all together. I'm not saying I don't make mistakes on a daily basis. I will say, though, that I am a mother who thinks twice before raising my voice. I am a mother who thinks twice before wishing time away. I'm a mother who thinks twice before complaining about being a mother. I'm a mother who takes a lot of pictures. I am a proud, blessed, and happy mother.