Why Can't I Fully Accept the Good?

I always thought the second time around I would be more relaxed. In some ways I am. I don't Google everything, I don't read message boards for hours and hours, I don't obsess with continued temping and pregnancy tests. I have really grown and moved forward.

In some ways I have not. I haven't "felt pregnant" in three days. It worries me. It makes me cry. Being bloated, upset belly, and vomiting are all signs I welcome. They were all signs I had from my positive pregnancy test until about three days ago. I miss those signs. They make it real. They make me believe everything is going as it should in there.

My husband keeps telling me I complained about this with Gavin. He's right. I did quite often. "I don't even feel pregnant," was often the phrase that left my mouth. It kept me worrying through the days.

I find myself doing it again. I just have to remember that during that time, my little boy was growing as he should.

That same beautiful little boy keeps me sane during this critical time. I don't have time to be as concerned when I'm with him. He needs me and I'm there. He is my constant reminder that miracles do happen. Good things do happen to those who have only known struggle.

I am though, anxiously waiting our September 8th appointment.

Until then, please pray for me to be able to give it to God and let my worries and anxieties go away. We really want you in our life baby brother or sister. Please stay with us!