Anxious...

I'm so ready to start this process. My heart has been heavy today. My temped dropped very low this morning. I'm going to start. I guess EVEN after a negative pregnancy test, I thought there was a chance. Nick emailed me today to check on me. He's really getting down about this. He told me, "I just feel like someone took the wind out of my sails."

I can't help but blame myself. It is after all my fault. I don't know why, but yesterday I requested a packet of information from one adoption agency. I don't know why...I really don't. We have two more options, but I guess I'm just ready. Nick and I have been talking more and more about this. How many IVF's will we do if needed? Should we do it at all? Should we just go straight to adoption?