Today's Visit with Dr. Hong

Nick and I left for Moline at 7:30 this morning. We arrived to Dr. Hong's office. She felt my pulse and asked me if I was still bleeding. I told her it had stopped as soon as I started the progesterone. She told me, "Your pulse is good. As long as you're not bleeding a lot and the baby doesn't "abort itself" you're going to be fine. We'll get you stabilized and then I'll tell you soon if it's a boy or girl."

How can someone be so positive in this situation? Sure I have hope. Nick and I are fighting to keep our baby, but we have also accepted that the numbers are telling us it's not going to work out. I cried the entire way up there. I feel helpless. This is our baby no matter how small he/she is. Parents protect their children and that's what we're doing. We're going to try everything we can to make this work, but we know it's now out of our hands. We have done all that we can.

Dr. Hong adjusted me and said we'd do acupunture on Monday as planned. She gave me a Chinese herbal formula called Woman's Precious: Ba Zhen Yi Mu Wan. It is supposed to add more blood flow to my uterus.

I love her positivity. I am thankful for her. We'll see what happens on Monday.

I took a pregnancy test this morning. I'm still pregnant. Our baby is holding on.

I haven't been able to sleep or relax but I'm trying. I'm trying to stay calm for him/her. I wish I knew what the future held.

I have accepted that many things could happen. We could lose our baby soon or a few weeks from now. We could have a happy, healthy baby in nine months. Our baby may have problems. I'm just praying and asking God for direction, guidance, and understanding.