TORTURE!

DO NOT GET EXCITED!!

I wouldn't post this if I thought I was pregnant, trust me! I just want to share a bit of the insanity. Nick caved and let me test today. He purchased my tests while I was at work. I held my pee from 11AM until 4:15PM.

I tested. I cried because I wanted to think that it was a very early positive, but I immediately reminded myself of a few things:

1) IT COULD BE THE END OF MY TRIGGER SHOT (that has the HCG hormone in it).

2) It is a blue dye test, which stinks compared to the pink. I don't know why I didn't tell Nick to get the pink.

3) It could be a very early positive.

4) It could be a chemical pregnancy (a very early miscarriage).

This is everything that has gone through my head.

I had a dear friend call me. I told her I didn't know if I should be thinking I'm pregnant or not ha! She encouraged me to go out and get a digital. By the end of the conversation, I decided to. I grabbed my keys, got to the door, and then stopped. I realized that seeing "pregnant" meant so much to me. I can't handle another flashing "not pregnant." Digital tests are my "confirmation tests" and I would have been heartbroken if it said not pregnant and I was home alone. I decided to wait until tomorrow to take another.

After telling my friend I backed out on the digital, she told me she was coming over to see my test. She arrived (with more pregnancy tests, including digitals) and yes, picked up my pee stick and analyzed. We both see something. We don't know what we see, but we see something.

The pictures don't show much at all. They are real eye squinters. I'll let you obsess. I'm going to grade papers and try to forget about it until tomorrow. Until then, I'm glad for busy work...and good friends. :0)