Ready to Be Another Excited Person in Line?

EVERYONE is excited about my temperatures, but me. I am trying to stay grounded. I keep telling myself not to get too excited. I guess I feel like if I plan on it not working, I won't be as heartbroken if I'm right. Nick has so much hope. Most of my FF buddies think I have a baby implanting. I guess I'll post my chart and let you guys take hope too. I sure need it.

I have spent my day crying, telling Nick I am so exhausted. This huge temp rise got my hopes really high this morning and then I decided to boycott those feelings. I became angry because I felt like I had to build this shield to protect myself.

This is an example of the roller coaster you often hear about on the infertility road. I should be happy, crossing everything, but I just can't. I'm going to stay in my happy middle ground. If we are pregnant, I will be completely shocked. If we're not, I think I may be just as heartbroken as I was when we lost our angel.

I was mad at Nick for not letting me buy pregnancy tests. He finally caved and said I could but reminded me that if it's negative, I'll cry and then hold on to hope that it was just too early. He's too right sometimes. He offered to get some and I said, "no." I'm going to wait until the end of the week (unless my temps really have me going) and test when and if I'm late.

Here's my chart. I am sure it will drive you just as crazy!

I came across this the other day. I'm so scared of this happening again, but I'm going to keep on trying no matter what.