My 2nd "Reassurance Call" from Dr. Figge's Office...

I called my RE's office today to express my concern. They were very nice.

It basically comes down to this....we just have to wait and see on Thursday.

I told her about the lack of symptoms and that the only symptom that I have kept other than a missed period and a positive test, were sensitive breasts.

I told her I had been sick on and off, bloated, and some heartburn, but that was over a week ago. All symptoms had disappeared except for breast tenderness. I have noticed over the last few days that my breast are getting better and better.

Something happened yesterday and I just lost it. I was sad and started thinking that this was going to be over soon too. I'm not a quitter. If I were, I would have given up long ago.

I have had 18 months of paying close attention to my body. Something doesn't feel right. Now, it could be that the fear of losing this baby has completely turned me crazy, or it's intuition.

I talked to one of the nurses. She basically said a blood test would be pointless right now because after it reaching 2,500 (and we don't even know if I've reached that), it's hard to judge the viability of an "embryo." I know they have to say that, but it's "baby" to me. They offered to do an ultrasound tomorrow rather than Thursday, but warned me that we may not see much because I'm not yet seven weeks. She said she fears this will give me more anxiety if we're not seeing much on the screen.

I told her I'd wait but if I spotted or began to bleed, I'd call them to come in. She agreed with me.

She told me as far as symtoms go:

1) Loss of symptoms CAN be an early warning sign from my body that something is wrong.
2) She told me I could lose the baby and not spot/bleed for a while. That's a missed miscarriage (it happened to me last time). She did note that MOST women bleed or spot this early on as soon as something goes wrong. I haven't done that yet. I'm holding on the hope that it's because everything is ok and it's not a missed miscarriage.
3) She told me that many pregnancies have no symptoms and/or symptoms come and go. All pregnancies are different.


So...in conclusion, it could go either way. They can't do anything for me unless I go to them now and I chose not to just yet. I am going to have a bit more faith than that.

I am a mess. Nick is a mess. Nick was a bit upset that I chose to wait. He said he'd go crazy before Thursday.

I'm already there.

My heart is heavy and I'm carrying a lot of worry. Please, please, please, God....let this be our take-home baby. I have prayed and prayed for peace, positivity, etc. It hasn't come yet. I'm so scared and if my fear turns out to be true, I don't know how I'll get through this one. I feel like I can't do it anymore.