Pregancy Panel Lab Work and "Another Milestone"

Today was my first appointment in the OB office! I was super excited! I didn't get to meet my OB. I went in for the pregnancy panel lab work. I guess they take blood and run lots of different tests like bloodtype, anemia, glucose, HIV testing, cystic fibrosis testing, Rubella, Hepatitis, urine sample, etc.

Some would argue that this wasn't a very exciting visit. It really was for me.

I sat in a room full of pregnant women. Some far along, some just like me, and some in the middle.

For once in my life, I wasn't jealous of the bellies around me. I had a baby in my tummy just like everyone else. I started to tear up. I am a mommy. I'm a mommy of an angel in heaven and a mommy to the little boy or girl growing inside of me.

I went back for the labs and was given a pregnancy packet of info.

Me? A take-home packet of info on the care of myself and our baby.

I left the clinic feeling so happy.

I decided to take a left into Target and reach another milestone in this journey- buying my first baby item.

We didn't buy anything last time because we were given the news that we'd lose our baby the day after finding out. We bought a bottle of lotion the night we found out and that was "playing it safe."

We bought a bottle of shampoo this time. We dated both of them as keepsakes for the night we were given the news.

I have been so scared to talk about the future, to let my guard down, and to buy something for our baby. I had this unrealistic fear that if I became too confident, I'd "jinx myself" and lose the baby.

After seeing the baby's heartbeat the first time and then the second time, I realized that I needed to have more faith in this baby even though I already loved him/her so much. I felt like a bad mom for not believing our child more. Isn't that what good parents do? Believe in their son or daughter? I need to believe in this pregnancy, our baby, and our future. I need to trust and that's exactly what I'm going to do.

I'm too in love now to let go or to have negative thoughts. I think the fear will always be there (as always, what parent doesn't worry) but I'm ready to do more celebrating and less worrying.

We are a mommy and daddy and we're so, so, so unbelievably happy!

Thank you so much for the prayers everyone! We love you so much! Thank you, thank you God!

I want to shout it from the rooftop! "I AM PREGNANT!"

You certainly are...