Still Smiling...

I woke up this morning feeling sad, but still smiling. I'm sorry if I haven't responded to all of you. That's just how our mood has been. One minute we're feeling the weight of the world, and the next minute we're eager for treatment and feeling optimistic.

I feel an overwhelming amount of support. Nick and I have been doing much research already. We know that it is possible to conceive and carry a healthy baby and we're going to make it through this.

I won't know specific details just yet about treatment, but I have already started a lifestyle change.  Oddly, I never liked soda and then early last year, Diet Pepsi became my best friend. I gave pop up a couple of months ago and I pretty much plan to stay away from it. Nick has also given it up. I will be researching foods even more so after Monday. Nick is kicking the bad habit of smoking. We're not big drinkers to begin with, so it's no less for us to limit our social drinks. I've already kinda experienced the pain that associates with this. My entire pelvic area feels huge and I literally feel my ovaries hurting. I've never not ovulated or skipped a menses so maybe that is what's going on?

Once we talk to the doctor on Monday, I'll learn what kind of diet is best for PCOS. I will be taking Metformin. It's a diabetic medicine that will help me with my insulin resistance, even though I'm not diabetic. The medicine can sometimes cause you to have hypoglycemia, so it's important that I understand what kinds of foods will be ok for me to eat. Once I get my insulin resistance under control, I think it's possible that the other hormones will correct themselves, and MAY cause the cysts to shrink. This in turn may allow me to release a mature egg and get pregnant. Weight loss will also help me. I have read that this is the worst symptom, next to infertility. I keep gaining weight because of the condition and it's hard to lose weight because of the condition. I just thought I sucked at working out. Some of that is part of the reason though, and I can't use this syndrome as an excuse. Sure I might gain weight more than the average person, and it may be harder for me to lose weight than the average person, but I'm at the point that I have to try. I won't get the outcome that I want if I don't try.

I am doing ok. This isn't the worst thing and the world and I know that. I think the fear of knowing that if this doesn't work, we'd be heading down the In Vitro Fertilization road. That is what scares me. I have not gone through that of course, but from research and talking to friends that have gone through it, I have learned that it's WAY more complex, stressful, and scarier than anything else. Not to mention the financial aspect. BUT we're not to that point yet and that's what I'm currently working on- not getting ahead of myself.

Please continue to pray for us. I'm anxious for our appointment on Monday.