4-22-16 My Birth Story with Benton Lee

So...here is second child syndrome! I am sooooo behind (only a little over three months) on updating! Benton Lee Shehorn was born on April 22, 2016 a7 7:37AM. My sweet boy weighed a whopping 9lbs 3.4oz and was 20in long. The morning started off terribly! I had a fear that I was "rocking the boat" by having another baby. I was healthy, my husband was healthy, by beautiful toddler was healthy. And here I was having major surgery again. I had been praying and praying for my anxiety to go away but I couldn't shake the fear that I was going to die and never see my boys again. Morbid, I know! I went to kiss Gavin while he slept in my bed and his Grammy took my spot so Daddy and I could leave the hospital. Gavin woke and immediately started bawling that he didn't want me to go. (He was informed Mommy would be staying in the hospital for a few days.) He begged me to stay over and over. I even tried to bribe him by letting him open his presents from Grammy for becoming a big brother. He broke my heart when he said, "I don't want presents. I want Mommy!" I left in a sobbing mess, pretty much guaranteeing my blood pressure shot up. I had an upset stomach the entire ride to the hospital. Each time a nurse asked me how I was doing, I started crying that my son was at home missing me. Once Nick's mom told me he was ok, I was able to relax. Ok, everyone. We can have a baby now. The morning went by quickly. It was full of nurses coming in to prep me for surgery. I had to get into my gown, have blood taken, IVs hooked up, etc. I had to take a "shot" of some tarty stuff that kept me from vomiting during surgery. My parents and Nick were with me.

Side Note:We also had a birth photographer. Sierra Smith of Sierra Smith Photography was absolutely amazing. You can let the pictures below tell the beautiful story. While I'll always have a part of me wishing I could have experienced a vaginal birth, I hold on to the brief moments I was pushing our first son, Gavin out. I also embrace the beautiful images Sierra captured during my c-section. I was asleep with Gavin so I missed out on hearing his first cry, watching him get cleaned up, etc. Sierra froze time with all of these beautiful shots and I have them to cherish not just in my memory, but in the images forever.

When it was time to go, they made Nick wait behind until my spinal was done. I sat on a SKINNY table and remember thinking, "How the hell am I going to lay back on this after getting a spinal?" Question answered! I leaned forward, hugged the nurse while she coached me as the needle went into my spine, and as soon as I could move they asked me, "What are you feeling?" I responded with, "My legs are tingling!" The anesthesiologist told me to start moving my legs and laying down before I was too numb ha! Once I was on my back and they got me where they wanted me. I begin to focus on my breathing and I prayed to God. I asked him to let Benton get here safely, for me to survive, and that we can all be together, happy and healthy soon. I started to feel anxious as my mind began to wander. I was starting to feel dizzy and I began to feel a little panic. The anesthesiologist told me he could give me something for the dizziness. As soon as he gave me whatever it was, I was back in the zone. I focused on my breathing (my fear was not being able to feel myself breathe) and I started asking for Nick. I think they sensed my worry that they'd start before he was next to me. And they kinda did ha! As soon as I saw him come around the sheet and sit next to me, I started to cry a little. I told him to keep talking to me and told him I loved him over and over. I literally felt nothing but a little shaking and pulling on my body. After that feeling became "normal" to me, I was able to talk to Nick. We talked about the doctors just carrying a casual conversation as their hands are in my guts, about our little boy at home, and what our little boy was going to look like/weigh. After a while, I started noticing more aggressive tugging and pulling. I knew what that meant...they were pulling my baby out! Nick first gasped because he heard gurgles and I frantically already started crying, "Is is crying!?" Within seconds of Nick reacting, there it was...a sweet, loud cry. And then the sheet was lowered, and my beautiful, chubby boy was held above the sheet to say hi!

I cried and told Nick to go to the corner where I got to watch them clean Benton up. They said he felt really heavy and wondered if maybe fluid was in his belly that they needed to suction. They placed a tub down his throat to suction, not getting a thing out. Nope! He was just a big boy! They guessed he'd be about 9lbs. He sure didn't look like it to me! They got Benton to me for skin to skin as fast as they could. I held him with Nick for a little bit as they were sewing me up.

Once we got back to the recovery room, they did a few prints on Benton and weighed him. 9lbs 3.4oz! And then he was able to nurse, where he latched on like a champ! This was new to me. Gavin struggled immediately. Benton was ready to roll from the start. I also found breastfeeding less stressful this time around. I went into saying I was only nursing while in the hospital, and maybe throughout the week. I was ok with that. I held on eight long weeks of pumping and nursing nonstop to only get 2-3oz max. It depressed me because I had no time to enjoy my baby. I had to make the best decision for Gavin and that was for me to have sanity and for him to thrive. I ended up nursing Benton and supplementing for about two weeks.

Within a couple of hours of having Benton, Nick's mom brought Gavin up. My heart overflowed with love seeing him come through the door and his immediate infatuation with his baby brother. Here I am fourteen weeks postpartum and I cannot believe how amazing Gavin is with his "Little BroBro, Bennybear, Bennyboo."

C-section recovery was WAY better this time around! We got to go home after just TWO days! Enjoy the images below. Benton Lee, Mommy, Daddy, and Gavin love you so, so much! We can't imagine life without you!